I don’t exactly remember how it feels like to be completely honest ; even with myself.
it’s been more than two years , I’ve put walls up and have been living with precautions since then.
I literally hate to feel.
I don’t want to feel anything anymore , especially anything that’s nice . why , you wonder? because through my fair share of experiences, I’ve learnt that whenever I get too happy , it doesn’t last long.
a long the journey , I’ve tried to keep myself entertained , but maybe because my brains always take over, I make sure everything I engaged myself with becomes temporary.
it’s not easy living like this at all.
sure, it feels like there’s less pain . but when I don’t feel anything anymore? it sure makes it hard to , even breathe.
I have this huge ego , that stops the much more delicate side of me , that’s rather invisible , to do anything.
this ego makes it hard for me to even open up to myself.
sometimes , just , sometimes , I miss being younger. I’d kill to go back to being fourteen ; it was a good age .
honestly , I’m just really tired.
tired of being the current me.
Gordon Ramsay getting advices from kids.
Outside of TV land, Gordon Ramsay is actually a really sweet motherfucker who just doesn’t take shit from shitty people. He likes to make his wife breakfast and stuff, and he seems to be really good with kids.